13 Jan 2012 No Comments

Have You Ever

Have you ever tasted quiet

As it seeps in the corners

Of your being

Leaving no traces of what was

Making what is

So simple

And sweet

Have you ever felt cold

So penetrating

It forced your mind to the moment

Leaving all thoughts to rest

And nowhere else to wander

Have you ever climbed in blackest night

Mountains steep

Every step fear dissolving

As the moon presses on your back

Have you ever laid alone

In nature’s embrace

No cover but the sky

Only to notice the tears inside

Have you ever stood

Despite what’s fallen

And watched as others

Said goodbye

Have you ever noticed

Who you are in reflection with the sky

Have you ever heard me sing to you

Crashing all the lies

I am here

In forever’s more

A tiny moment to reply

And I’ve noticed now

There is no time

To justify

The lies

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

12 Dec 2011 1 Comment

I Hear You Calling

I hear you calling

Across skies

Treading deeply

To stay awake

In this slumber

Of images

That try to dull

My senses

Of you

Wasting days

Waiting for a wind

That comes as

She pleases

Not like you

I surf the wind

I travel in and out

Of spaces

Some too tiny

And barely

I squeeze through

Yet I ride the wind

For it is my current

My song

My way

I am free

Nothing can capture me

But love

I shift with time

And forget the day

I am

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

26 Nov 2011 1 Comment

Poem

I cannot feast upon these words

They are not mine to have

Holy is thy promise

Thy wind

Thy hope

Holy is the fury

That keeps me

Open eyed in the storm

I cannot feast upon these words

They have killed glory

Lost faith

And leave me restless

Wrong and lost

I cannot feast upon these words

They leave me sleepless

Alone in darkness

Without fear

And magically wild

Listening to words drop like

Rain drops on my belly

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

13 Oct 2011 6 Comments

SELFISH!

Apre Vous- after you… How many people do I need to let go first.  If I do enough this way will it set me up for some “good karma.”  Why should I care what I get from some simple act when the idea is to simply give.  Oh, how we give- we give our time, our space, our food, our clothes, our homes, our teachings, our money, our employment, our work, our charity- oh we give- and all of it never seems to come freely.  Even the satisfaction from our “giving” is costing us all dearly.  We are so hungry to give only for a purpose- even to satisfy another  just to feel good  ourselves.  Why are we so attached to needing to feel a certain way?   Funny, we even give our opinions like we are sharing something important.  Example, “Isn’t it a beautiful day!”  For who????  Our attachment to our giving can be so very gross and so very grossly subtle.  We are so Selfish even in our best attempts to be Selfless.  It’s a good thing that intention is superior to action, but so many of us don’t even see our intentions behind all we think we are putting out.  People say things all the time about being so tired from all that they do and give.  How can giving deplete one?  Impossible!  That tiresome type of giving is hypnotized with attachments. Giving minus attachment is giving- Giving with attachment is Selfish.  Perhaps, we should all look at where the real giving is sourced.  Who, what enlivens this body to act, this mind to think, this intellect to reason???  The very idea that we think we own this body or mind creates arrogance and fear.  That attachment leaves us desperate.  It inhibits us from objectively acting in all our affairs. Perhaps, we are forgetting to humble ourselves to the Well that gives everything.  Perhaps, rather than taking doer ship over all this giving we should humbly find gratitude for the very source that feeds us all.  Perhaps, rather than seeking acknowledgement for our good deeds, we should graciously seek to serve what has so freely served us.

A little exercise to try:  Notice how often you say My, I, or give an opinion without  being asked.  Notice in the most subtle ways of giving- even when anonymously giving what thoughts irrigate your mind. What and who are we trying to feed from all this “giving?”  Find out if just working on Being creates a sense of real sharing and from that space all might flow brilliantly as it should.  Let us try to be like a flowing river- the instinct of the river is to meet the great ocean.

Please send words from your attempts to give just by being and by not taking ownership on any level- can’t wait to read!!!

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

05 Oct 2011 1 Comment

Full

5:30 wake up, tinkle- slip quietly down the hall- study.  The words of the great “Gita” nourish my mind.  Darkness tries to penetrate but I hold close to the light, not wavering from my commitment to read.  I rise again, Swamiji said, ” Synchronize these words Lisa with everything, I am Atman, I am Atman.” Over and over- I try to hold this mantra as I dress for my jog, every step in rhythm with my mantra.  Cool air teases my skin as beads of sweat gather.  The hills are trying my legs, every step stay in rhythm, “I am Atman”.  The peak, “don’t look to far ahead Lisa- shit! I am Atman.”  It slips so quickly from my mind, constantly being drawn  back to the insanity, the thoughts that cause me to feel stretched, lost, – like breakfast, kids, teaching, house work, who said what, if I run faster will my ass be smaller, where is my graditude…  So stretched, so pulled- As I meet the peak the sun begins to kiss the dark. Orange, pinks, hints of blue- “Do I prefer night to day?- I am Atman.”  Being invaded, stuffed to the brim- I still myself at the peak- everything quiet but my breath, my heart pounding, my mind stretching beyond my mantra- the invasion of thoughts are suffocating to me- I grapple to hold to my ideal.  Too full with nothing and nothing seizes me-  ”I am Atman!!!”  I run fiercely down the mountain- I remember to keep practicing, I remember to do my best, I remember to embrace the sweetness of being, I remember I am Atman and my burden begins to  ease for the moment- I take a Full breath and taste the richness of life.  In practice I am inspired.  I am Full but not stuffed.

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

17 Sep 2011 4 Comments

Space

My life is full- full of amazing people, work, beauty, teachings- my life is full, packed to the gills with the comings and goings of living!  In fact, I can’t even go to the bathroom these days without either the dogs, one of my kids or my sweet husband interrupting.  I don’t usually feel trapped by this, but there are those times where I hide in my closet- refusing to answer their calls.  It is in those moments I just want SPACE!  I realize the Space I am desiring cannot be achieved through circumstance- it comes from my state of mind.  I can be in an empty room and feel crowded- I can be in a crowd and feel like I have more then enough Space.  What differentiates these experiences is my ability to keep my focus on myself, with the intentions of serving life period.  Otherwise, I become a slave to everyone’s comings and goings- their ups and downs when I can barely manage my own.  If I just focus on what I have, do some work to elevate myself- then I can be useful to those around me.  I can give without feeling depleted and bombarded.  I can also navigate around and accommadte without feeling that I am losing something, like Space.  All that being said, I have a lock being installed on my bathroom door right now!

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

05 Mar 2011 1 Comment

PAINY DAYS

Sometimes I think we suffer pain just to remind us we need to be more tender…

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

04 Mar 2011 3 Comments

The Threads That Make A Life…

I like to believe that my life has been a weave of many colorful experiences laid out from a Loom of choices I have made in this life and the many that came before.  Sometimes, I find myself a prisoner to the very threads of experience that carve out my personality- like a blanket that sheaths me from my real “Self”.  Each thread holds me to a choice that I once made- whether aware of the choice or long forgotten.  It’s rather amazing this particular law of nature that says,”we reap what we sow”.  Forever limited or set free by our choices- without proper assessment, we are lost in a weave of confusion.  Just recently, I was faced with having to say yes to a situation when I desperately wanted to say no.   I felt a complete invasion.  I wanted to honor my space and because of previous relationship choices I was not in a position to “bow” out even though every fiber in my being said, ” NO! ”   I suffered over a week of pending chest pains and endless waves of frustration.  How could such a simple accommodation be causing so much grief?  I kept trying to examine my physical sensations without becoming reactive.  After a week or so I was relieved from my obligation.  I immediately experienced some relief.  But, I was slain with a tender sadness that I couldn’t quite figure out.  Finally, I realized that there have been several pivotal times in my life where I had experienced a violation to my personal space, a dismissal of my worth through career or simply and emotional invasion by another.  During these times I believe I felt my efforts to claim my rights were futile.  Or, I was to young to defend off my intruders.  So, when I was faced with having to say Yes when I wanted to say No- that thread tugged deeply and I saw the connection to all the times I just wasn’t able to protect myself.  This situation represented all the times I couldn’t save myself.  There is another saying, “we get what we deserve, not what we desire.”  Again, I see how deeply woven the threads of the past can even actualize themselves into patterns today.  In order to tie off a thread I must be willing to see where it is woven and understand that every choice I make creates a stitch in the blanket of my many lives.  While quite colorful, it is often this weave that keeps us shielded, blinded from what is real.  How do we release the threads?  How do we see beyond the false warmth of this blanket and take responsibility for our nakedness-  How do we not!

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

23 Feb 2011 1 Comment

TRAINING THE DOG!

I have the greatest privilege of playing Mom to two amazing huge dogs.  They are both Rhodesian Ridgebacks- Juda (3 yrs old) tips the scale at a mere 145 lbs. and Moses (5 yrs old) weighs in on the lighter side a feathered 125 lbs.  They are both such amazing creatures with distinct personalities.  Juda is all Bhakti (devotional) and very spry.  He is what Scoobie Doo might be like if he were real.  When I come home even if I just stepped out to retrieve the mail he pounces and honestly cries, “Mommmmmmmmm” over and over until I stop and pay him unwavering attention or distract him with a treat.  Moses on the other hand is perhaps the kindest, most sincere, honest, loyal man I have ever come to know.  He would give his life to defend mine and our beautiful family’s well being.  One time we were hiking at dusk when this woman all on her own approached us from behind.  Ahead were several fellas- Moses sized up the situation and would not let the woman walk alone.  Finally I had to explain that he is a gentleman and would not leave a lady unattended in uncertain conditions.  She seemed grateful and we walked down together with Moses as our guard.  You might be wondering why I am writing about “The Boys?”  Good question- well, let’s approach the point.  I walk or hike the Dogs 1-3 times per day and recently it occurred to me that the three of us on our walks represent the struggle to oversee my restless mind.  Juda likes to take the lead.  He is curious and nervous about what lies ahead.  He pulls and then hesitates. He, too, scares easily and sometimes drags me like I am a waif.  He represents me when my mind is basking in the future or the results.  Moses really likes to take his time- he likes to linger behind us remembering every smell and marking the moments.  He seems quite content to have me pull him along especially up the bigger hills on the mountain.  He can be quite heavy to lug about and seems to be constantly pulling at me.  He holds me up from my natural pace and while there is much wisdom in his way I often feel stuck while trying to walk with him. Moses represents my past.  I am in the middle and yet without proper training I am pulled to what is behind me and dragged by what lies ahead.  Frankly it can be exhausting. It creates worry and anxiety. Wanting to pay proper attention to both and honor myself all at the same time.  I am learning to “Train the Dogs” so we can all work together and move smoothly with purpose.  It is in the same way that I work to develop an Intellect to over see “My” restless mind.  Without proper training it seems impossible to get any where except stuck, pulled and dragged. The Intellect must over see the Mind and Body period.  The emotional roller coaster of life is not a safe ride.  It will keep us from living in our own Magnificence and we will lose our ability to be sane.  The past is dead and at best we can draw some wisdom from it.  The future is only a speculation.  We can set our plans but then we must let go and simply do our work for work sake in the moment we are in. Harness up-  Study, Reflect, Apply!

by Lisa Paskel in Posts

18 Feb 2011 1 Comment

IF EVERYONE IS HUNGRY FOR THE TRUTH, THEY WHY ARE SO MANY STARVING?

The shiny red apple continues to lure so many of us away from our desire for truth.  Like anything worth having- it takes consistent hard work to hold steady to such an Ideal as Truth.  On any given day, it seems even a hot new pair of Blue Jeans can tease me away from my commitment to the Ideal.  So we must strive daily to meet our Ideals and slowly arrest our lower desires.  A shiny Red Apple is but a temporary pleasure at best.  Truth, however, is a lasting dose of bliss even when hard to swallow.

by Lisa Paskel in Posts